I like to ask questions, so here’s another interview.
This interview is with Gretchen Rubin, creator of the blog The Happiness Project. Gretchen is a former lawyer and has talked to Matt Lauer, so she is familiar with both quesitons and answers, as well as hostile environments whereboth can be exchanged. She does just fine here as well.
She’s also left-handed, like myself. This means she’s likely to get ink on the heel of her hand as she writes, especiallywith Papermate pens. Unfortunately, I did not ask her about this, so it will remain a mystery.
Me: You list 12 Commandments on your site, whereas I list 13 Excuses on mine. So while I trump you based on sheer numbers alone, yours seem to (unreasonably) resonate with me as well. While I know I can’t be Gretchen, I can be Mike…and so on. Are those 12 Commandments something for everyone to follow? (Corollary: Except for the first one, unless the person following them is named Gretchen as well)
Gretchen: I think part of the value of personal commandments is coming up with them yourself. People will differ. One person wrote to me that her commandment was “Do it now,” another person said his was “Wait.” I can see how both would be good commandments – for different people. You can get inspiration from seeing my list, or someone else’s list, but I think it will be more useful if you think of your own.
Me: Every Wednesday is Tip Day, eh? You going to claim that income?
Gretchen: Yes indeed!
Me: You have created short, little inspirational films as well. They were very moving, especially the one about the bus ride. Not just because it was about a bus, which is moving with you and your daughter on it, but because you illustrate a point that is lost on a lot of people about time: it’s not the amount of time but how you use it. How does time play a role in how one can make the most of life?
Gretchen: Ah, I never thought about being moving in THAT way! The use of time is a very important question within happiness. By taking the time to appreciate the present – by understanding how you are spending time in ways that aren’t adding to your happiness – in deciding how to balance short-term and long-term priorities.
Me: In another of your short films you say that one of the secrets of adulthood is that you should ask for help. I agree, that is why Xerxes, my cousin, does everything for me – including conducting this interview. You also say that you don’t have to be good at everything. Is that REALLY true? Why or why not? (You can tell me…I won’t share it with anyone. Promise.)
Gretchen: I remind myself that I don’t have to be good at everything for two reasons. First, I want to remember to “enjoy the fun of failure.” Just because I’m not good at something doesn’t mean that I shouldn’t try it. Second, I don’t want to spend my time worrying about mastering things that aren’t important to me.
Me: You are currently writing a book based on spending a year test-driving every principle, tip, theory, and scientific study you could find. While I’m sure you’re thankful that my blog is Creative Commons-licensed, I’d like to give my readers a bit of a sneak peek at what you’ve gleaned from yours truly. And if you want to keep me modest (which I suppose is fine), then what finding surprised you the most?
Gretchen: One of the things that surprised me was that, although happiness seems like a transcendent and abstract concern, my physical body was more important than I realized. Now I spend a lot more time making sure I get enough sleep, that I exercise several times a week, that I don’t let myself get too hungry or too cold. But especially sleep! This is really important to happiness, in my view.
Me: You’ve stated that most decisions don’t require extensive research. I go one step further and remove the adjective “extensive.” I take it that you make a lot of your decisions with your gut or a Ouija board. Which do you prefer?
Gretchen: Usually I just ask a smart friend what he or she does, and I copy. This is how I picked a summer camp for my daughter, a dermatologist for myself, books for my vacation, whether to get a third computer monitor, etc. I let other people do all the work!
Me: Can we afford to be happy in these tough economic times? Isn’t the going rate on joy a little pricey right now?
Gretchen: The relationship between money and happiness is fascinating and very complex. If you’re feeling financially squeezed, some ways to maximize the bang for your happiness buck include: spending money on things that will support happiness (e.g., choose a trip to see your sister’s new baby instead of a new dining room table). Also, if you’re feeling like you have nothing, try giving something away – that will reassure you. Sign up for the organ donor registry, give blood, clear your closets and give away books, clothes, etc. to people who need them, volunteer. Remind yourself that you can be generous, that you do have resources to share to help others.
Me: Do you consider yourself to be a productive person or someone who lets the chips fall where they may?
Gretchen: If anything, I’m too worried about being productive. I know it’s silly, but I have resolutions like “Force myself to wander” and “Schedule some play.” Otherwise, I don’t take enough time to mess around. And that’s important for happiness.
Me: If the chips are “happy chips” does that make a difference?
Gretchen: Absolutely! Make time for fun.
Me: What’s on the horizon? Is there a sequel in the works for the new book, The Happiness Project? Perhaps a 360 on your current mission, where you go and try to implement the opposite of what you did this time? If so, might I suggest the following title: The Sad-anic Verses.
Gretchen: My book comes out on Dec. 1, 2009, so right now, I’m just working toward that. Haven’t thought yet about what comes next.
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{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }
I really enjoyed reading this interview! The interviewer has an infectious, lighthearted attitude and Gretchen is wonderfully articulate and authentic.
Jamie,
I’m "happy" you enjoyed it.
MV